17th. :)

Happy 1st Birthday, Arkin Zachary! :)

You're Invited!

Awesome Threesome!

So we were over at Marion's first birthday celebration, 19th of August and we had this little picture together. See how pleased Jef is of Zachary! :) Oh, I love them both so much! :)

I am such a proud mom & wife. I can't even let it not slip my tongue!

Spiced Up!

Fan Girl Follow-Up

There goes my heart, almost jumpping out of my chest! Thank you, Wesley. It was so nice of you! :)

Fan Girl Forever

And the fan girl in me just died after having read this. 


Rewind to 2002 when UAAP was quite a fad and I was that ultimately die-hard Ateneo fan. It was Wesley's spunk, that swag that he had, that made me love him. Imagine me watching at home, sitting at the sofa with all my cheering paraphernalia! Feeling nasa Araneta! Haha. 


I would always wound up in front of the TV for any Blue Eagle game. Back then, Enrico Villanueva, Rich Alvarez, Paolo Bugia, JC Intal, Larry Fonacier and LA Tenorio was still part of the Joel Banal-coached team. There was also Gec Chia, Macky Escalona and Epok Quimpo. Like the young college girl that I was, I was cheering my lungs out for every made shot, successful defensive play and cry my heart out for every game lost. 


Well, stung a lot especially against arch-nemesis De La Salle Green Archers.


Who could forget that winning shot Gec Chia buried in the dying minutes of their rubber match against UE in the Semis. That was like, what? EPIC! That Larry Fonacier block against Mac Cardona will forever be a staple in any Ateneo-La Salle payabangan blues. 


And I was crying like nuts when they bagged their championship in Season 65. Lalo na when Wesley won Finals MVP alongside Larry Fonacier. :) Wow, felt like heaven for me. Sure thing, you guys don't need further proof of what a basketball junkie I am! 


I was overly delighted when he has come to join my fave team in the PRO's and play alongside my other fave player Olsen Racela in Wesley's stint in San Miguel back in 2006-2009. 


And voila, thanks to Twitter, Wesley's just a tweet away. And the plus factor there is his reply with a smiley, which made my heart jump! Jump, jump, jump! Aw. See, I am still on a high?


Nonetheless, thank you Wesley for taking time to reply. :) 


Keep that swag, it makes you gwapo! :) 


Follow him on Twitter and be giddy like me. :) :) :)

Happy Birthday, Boom!

I fondly remember how ecstatic I went hearing Boom greet me over the radio! And even now, I get the same ecstatic feeling, kilig even.

Image grabbed from the web.

To this date, he remains to be the best male DJ for me. Mark that. :)

I guess it was his show in the morning, with Chinggay that I began to be his fan. I love the mixes he had on air, especially on Wednesdays. Plus, yung mga trivia niya of the songs, such a genius! He has heavily influenced my choice of music and my love for old school stuff. And by old school stuff I mean, those from the wonderful years of 80's and 90's.

I remember scribbling in my diary how Boom went to greet me on air and play my Annie Lennox' Waiting in Vain request. :) And it was because of him that I have come to love the songs Shimmer and Black Balloon. Yep. That kind of stuff and effect on me, Boom.

And because both of us are hoop junkies, it made me love him more!!! I remember just watching the UAAP, even if it's not Ateneo playing, kapag si Boom ang sportscaster and analyst. Siyempre it's a whole lot special if he covers Ateneo game with TJ Manotoc. That's like, Uber, uber, uber, special delight! Because from the screens I can get a good view of my favorite Wesley Gonzales, who by the way is celebrating his birthday today too HAPPY BIRTHDAY, WESLEY!, then there's Boom, then there's TJ! Triple delight right at me! :) I remember Mama being annoyed kasi kahit tapos na ang game, I have to hear, like really HAVE to hear Boom close the game itself!

And ever since he left RX, I must say, RX will never ever be the same without him there. So as Magic, where he stays now. I love how contagious his laugh is, well most of the time, how he giggles on board with Mia, well with Carla now. I have yet to meet him, but for some odd reasons I think of him as such a lady's man. Even his previous partner Fran never lost her fondness of him. Well, there must be something about the man, and his pan de sal abs!

I am all giddy blogging this up, because Boom has been very generous in replying to my greets to him. :) It's your birthday Boom, you're supposed to be the one treated but it turns out otherwise! You are making this day extra, extra special for me. :) Thank you Twitter. As always you never fail me. I get across my favorite people on earth and get the perk of being a part of their virtual lives!

I hope sometime soon I can meet you in person. Probably be a colleague in your sportscasting career. Maybe, be your writer or your PA! Hahaha! Dream on, yesss!

Geez, I am such a fan girl. 

I hope you have a good one today, and like how you say it, it's your birthday, don't let anybody ruin it even yourself!

Love you lots!

My Boys, FTW! :)

My Preppy Little Boy Scout!

And so I am relieved having found an app that has let me edit pictures online to achieve such a look! Haha, for the busted Adobe users like I am, thank you pixlr.com for paving the way for my photographic cray-crayness! Haha, nontheless, I shall go on and exploit my photo editing prowess. :)

I love you Zachary. You are Mommy's number 1. :)

Humpday Handpicked: Soon

So, here's a current drool ruler! Haha. See I am such a junkie for 90's music. Makes me want to wish I can play the guitars while singing to this real simple lang pero rak na song. Aww. Me and my pipe dream of being a rock star. Well, in my own world, I am. Walang basagan ng trip!


I hope you will all enjoy this song as much as I did. For more of the hits of the not-so-distant past, go tune in to Manila's Hottest Monster Radio RX 93.1's The Riot every Wednesday, that's solid 24 hours of unadulterated good music to your ears. 


Thank you @monicafrancesca and @jacquesfurbeyre. You two play absolutely good music together.


You got me hung up. :)

Zachary at 10!

So I'm like this mom, who got home late because of heavy rains and traffic, running her toes off just to get home for her son's 10th month! And, and, be the sentimental mom who'd force her son to take a few more pictures even he's too sleepy for it! Nonetheless, I love you Zachary. You make me want to not settle and strive for the best. You are mommy's fireball. And I love every bit of you. I hope you loved your mini cup chocolate cupcake and your ciocollato gelato just as much as your Tito Kevin loved toffee almond gelato! :)

I love you. I left early, I can't afford to be late and eventually lose this job. I'll be home in a bit. Let's play Eat Bulaga before we sleep. Mommy will make you a lot of milk, my love! :) Then, we could both doze off to sleep snuggling because of the cold weather.

GOD bless you baby love. Mommy's going to take care of you the best way that I know possible.

Flying kiss! :*

So Am I

God knows how I tried seeing the bright side.
But I'm not blind anymore.

Awesome Lovin'!

Sunny Sunday: Them boys waiting up for me to hear mass. :) I love you both, BIG TIME.

Hello, RLK!

Of course, it was so nice seeing RLK again. It's been what, six months in the running since he left. And darn I miss his witty sarcasm!

Hindi naman masyado obvious sa picture na to that I was happy! Hehe. :)

As I would like to put it, I'd prefer much to be challenged by this man's intellect than be bored to death out of somebody's nonchalance. Sharp, eh?

I hope to be seeing more of you. And with his arrival, and endless possibilities there lies, I think I'm standing my ground. I got to learn a lot from him. And will probably never tire out learning.

You know, I'm the type who prefers iron-fisted superiors. Pushes me to my limit and unleashes the best in me!

I missed you RLK! See you around! :)

The Shades Aftermath

So I was right. It was Shimoli singing in my head.

That Damned song, yesss, that!

I was all Fifty Shades of Grey the past, what, 34 hours or so? Like I am all consumed, not in the books context, with all defense If I may say, but man, how could it be possible that such delicate topic be discussed in detail in such a manner that EL James did?

I was green with envy. I wish I could write my own book. And be frigging relevant!

My thoughts were scribbled messed up, that kind of way, I was aching so bad for this entry. Yesss, that bad.

It must have done me bad sleeping my way to the office. That I ought to do a couple of years back when I was all-too-early bird. I thought I was sleep walking when I was in the train. I had to slap myself back together walking Annapolis and finally clocking in for today's work.

It's a Wednesday and I chose not to be tuning in to The Riot. Well, that must be something. I am still thrilled to get my eyes on Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele's cranked up story. I thought I was so in it I tried sending Jef an email hoping he would reply his wits out and mesmerize me for the hundredth time.

Nonetheless maybe, I was just trying to find a more artistic, yes, as I would like to put it, excuse to get my thoughts across him and how I miss him so bad. 

Jef and I. We've been through a lot. And when I say a lot, I meant A LOT. And certainly going through a lot this time. Sometimes it's just painfully ugly it brings me to tears. But that doesn't stop me though, nor the feelings I harbor for him and my high hopes of the family we ought to be building this time.

I wouldn't know if he would ever come across this entry. Given he doesn't like reading and claims that he hardly understands what I am trying to say, says I am too cryptic about things. Well, the beauty of metaphors and figurative language, all working my way.

Basically it all boils down to I love him.

And I was shivering having just typed that, or the thought of it was quite tingling to my senses.

Because I really do.

And like there's terribly nobody else I would want to be with. I know I have been stubbornly difficult and it has probably given him reasons to just give up on me, but of course it would shatter me to pieces just the mere thought of him giving up on me, like I am trying to behave the hell out of me just to make us work. Darn have I wanted him so, so, bad!

And I couldn't be missing out because of some fat-ass cynic. Pardon the words.

Sometimes I like my wit. I mean all the time. I undeniably catch my prey's yet to be introduced senses.

Given the circumstances, I would exhaust all my power to tire them out until they reconcile with their senses that what Jef and I have, it's unbreakable, certainly would hold down all the meanness they have overly indulged on me. Maybe I annoy them that much. Well that's their problem not mine. 

I could be really feisty, I'd like to think feisty-passionate, and I am all for the persons that I love. Like how I would like to put it, I can be your dearest friend or your greatest enemy. No neutral shade. No grays. Black or white, that's me.

And I am definitely not playing coy when I am not in my element. Jeez, ninjas tire out too. All for the missions and the battles I ought to be game on, this one with Jef I will be laying all my cards down, going for the win.

Doesn't matter if he isn't a man of hearts and flowers.

I love him, every teensy-weensy bit of him.

Now, that has to be so Fifty Shades of Grey.

Wanted: Emergency Chocolate

So I'm thinking where to get myself this Emergency Chocolate. Or maybe I should just tap myself to the reality that this is just an aftermath of most recent cravings? I couldn't remember the last time I grabbed a bite. Should be a while.

Today should jump start the weekend ahead. Pero I am feeling kind of tired to do a thing. Tomorrow's laundry day and here's hoping the sun would be shining brightly to my favor.

I am quite exhausted with work stuff. Or maybe all the thinking there was the past few days. Months even. And it hasn't been pretty, mind you. My skin asthma's been taking it's toll at some point I thought I couldn't take it anymore. Should hit the doctor for check up. Maybe an assessment about this stuff. See, that's kind of urgent. All that was running through my head is that this is primarily about the emotional stresses I have been into. Still into. Some kind of a limbo, some anxiety in between. Something I wouldn't entertain but now, uhm, sort of entertaining. Should be a whole lot of things running in my head and a thousand more emotions I couldn't hold up all at the same time.

Maybe I'd be better off asleep.

I am reading on Eat, Pray, Love for the second time now. Funny how unfamiliar it seemed to me. Although the emotions I was into the first time I read it was spelling familiarity now. Couldn't be a good sign.

I was heaping with heavy sighs, yes. Maybe a lot coming from disappointments. About myself, my career. Family life. And the mere fact I am channeling these bad vibes is not a good idea to toss around with. And so I was thinking, what was this pit hole that I allowed myself to slip in. Was kinda dark and ugly. Something I really don't like. Eeeky at some point. You could puke.

I should be on my toes now, I mean try to bounce back. I couldn't be in this hole for so long, I could miss out on the good things GOD will have to provide me.

Sure there's truth when Deepak Chopra said "All great changes are preceded by chaos." Maybe that's why everything's been a mess. A whole lot of mess. Like my thoughts are really a mess. But maybe it's about time to gather myself together and probably get back to my old self. Really uncanny, thinking I go about the every days of my life lately with scattered thoughts and wailing composure. Not a good sight, yes?

Maybe it's about time to get back to my NINJA MODE. Yesss, I have that in my arsenal. Like for real.

And I have this emergency chocolate to fuel me up.

Because when you're feeling this down, there's absolutely no way but up.

I have the coolest Pops!

Yes, you heard me right. And I could not be bragging any less.

Papa and I were both born in August. Maybe that's why I find it easiest to relate with him. Being the first born, I'd like to believe I was lucky having been given first hand attention. Well, they say the perks are always fun, yes? And my childhood was quite memorable. Being given all the best there is although Sai and I were born only a year apart.

I fondly remember his proud face when I bagged the Best in Math award in kindergarten, he was spilling the good news like wild fire. And out of a small girl's building ego, it was a bombastic way to fuel things out.

My love for sport was heavily influenced by his being a sportsman. Just a couple of weeks ago, imagine Papa, at 51, running the floor of the Mecca of SCH Basketball, Phase 5 court. It was quite a sight to see looking back to his younger days as a very effective cager.

He would bring us to his games to nearby subdivisions. And we would gladly cheer for him and the whole team. He was into tennis too. And mind you, he plays well too. Maybe that's why it was a lot of disappointment when Kevin declined to continue his tennis training, for free.

He plays exemplary billiards too. Hahaha. The adjectives I'm using, yesss, to the superlative degree of all superlative degrees! I would recall looking at his pictures playing billiards in his rugged maong ang patented sando, 80's style yow! Hahaha! Nonetheless, he is really bigger than his body. Bigger than his thin, unassuming body.

Growing up, we used to argue a lot. Well, because of the choice of friends I had by then maybe. He's just being protective from all the hazards of teenage life that were threatening my way. Well, gladly, he was kind of triumphant having seen me graduate from high school with, uhm, kind of borderline petiks and achiever kind of range. Hahaha! Not bad, Pa!

He would check out my volleyball games in highschool but later at home would always go nostalgic like.. Pinabayaan niyo kasi ang mga buhok niyo. Nung bata kayo ke gaganda niyan. Palagi ko sinusuklay. Ngayon, 'ta nyo.. Yan ang masasabi niya sa dry hair namin dulot ng volleyball practices. He was there on the gallery when I was cheerleader in second year. And some other activities he would make himself available.

And I just really have to say, how I appreciate his efforts in sending me to collage. I recall how happy he was munching on the idea the I was actually going to college to take Accountancy. I can tell, he was proud of me, even that early in this stage.

He wasn't playing KJ also when I had introduced Jef, February of 2006. He was just in constant reminder of the limitations we had to set, so as the priorities. That fateful day of November 11, 2007, I was marching on this mini theater in Insular Building in Alabang, he couldn't miss out telling me that I looked just fine in my pink satin graduation dress.He was also supportive in my first job stint at Air 21.

He was modestly remiding about my then active weekend drinking sprees but was understanding enough to see that I was having a bad headache the morning after. Terrible hang over that was. He was that type, letting you experience what's there to experience. But of course, always maagap to draw the line on what's tolerable or not. Cool? Yes!

He was accommodating to my friends too. Be it the girls from high school, them guys from high school too, from the youth org sa Church. We was always ready to let fly a good old joke to keep everyone at bay. 

To date, he still drives me to the bus station for work. Niloloko na nga siya ni Mommy Aids one time, Ano, hatid pa din? Bata?

And when Jef and I had to reveal our plans of getting married, it landed to him like, what? Nabingi ata. But he was a busy hand on the wedding day planning for the biggest day of my life. Hmm, I can tell, he was a little sad for a while but he got over it, lalo na when Zachary came along. Silang dalawa are like partners in crime. They would always have new antiques to brag about. Like the fact that there's nobody else I would like to take care of my son with exception to me & Jef, he would be one of the very few.

So just in time for Father's Day, thank you Papa for being the coolest papa there is! Like wala talagang papantay sa'yo! Ikaw na talaga!

Stay jeproks and watch what you eat! It's not like you're 25! But your swag feels like it!

I LOVE YOU PAPA! :)
   

In This House.

Image via fancy.

Reunited with Ferretti

Image grabbed from the web.

I fondly remember this pair of doll shoes Mama bought me when I was, what, second year college, maybe, which was a lot like love at first sight. It was dainty and girly-girl-ish, a real eye candy with its ankle straps. Too bad, I didn't have the pictures to prove it, hoping that my words are crisp enough for y'all to believe.

A ninja in doll shoes? Yesss.

Having gone over Laureen Uy's blog, which by the way is overly FAB, it rang a thousand bells to my ears having heard of Ferretti.It was the brand which my most beloved flats belong to! So I went over its site and tried if there will be some shoe-teeny-bopper-kind-of-love. Because that avocado green flats will always be my first love!

Red pump-ed loafers, classic wedge loafers and this cute bucket shoes.

Yes, my age might tell my sense of style. Probably why those caused my heart to skip a beat! :) Nonetheless, I will always remember Ferreti for giving me my first pair of doll shoes. Looking forward to more fab finds! 

The Way to Go

Image via fancy

Tricsay FTW ( Part 2 )

Pardon the pictures being blurred, I had to do away with the available means to come up with a layout. Thank you Jas for the pictures. :)

Triccie FTW!

Triccie: How'd you like my pose?

So it's been roughly a week now, it must have not sunk in just yet that Triccie is out of Amici for good. It's as if she's on leave lang. Well, leave for good at that.

For wonderful ( I am assuming she thinks the same ) three years, Triccie found home in Amici. I fondly remember the first day she came for interview, very petite in form and undeniably bubbly, Ma'am Mye couldn't love her any less. She and Sir Roger even shared crisp laughs too. That must really be something, yes? Her charms walked her through the keen standards of THE RLK.

The first thing she had to do was to account for liquidations related to the new store opening. And I did not mean to actually get her brains shocked up in her first day. But she managed. And her first day was telling of how she would do with the rest of her stay with the company.

ALL EARS

Triccie could have caught me in a bad timing. Well, guess what, I was right smack in the middle of a 3-year relationship breakup. How sour could that get? And there was no way I was radiating good vibes, no way that I was going to entertain new thoughts. I was overly emo, super dwelling on moments of a relationship gone sour. But that instant she started relating to me her own story of heart break, I knew I found myself a friend whom I can share my brouhaha's of all sort.

She would comfort me those days when I went gaga over things that I allowed to happen all over again. Alam mo na Trix kung ano yun. Makulit kasi ako, mapilit. And she would always remind me to stop na. But I wouldn't. But she wouldn't stop reminding me too. But thank God, every huge tear paid off. Triccie, I wish you made it to my wedding. You played a super duper part in between our on-the-rocks stage. And you could've rightfully been there at our most momentous moment. Kayo ni Emil. I owe so much to both of you. You have kept my almost always raging emotions at pace. I know, it was hard. But you were enduring.  

In my most fragile moment, there she was, as if we have known each other a long time ago, giving me bits and pieces of advise up until this very day, I am still so thankful about.

Triccie, HB & Me.

CLICK!

It wasn't hard loving Triccie's company. She was bubbly and kind of cowboy. Super walang kaartehan sa katawan.Despite those afternoons that we were walking Annapolis up when it was raining so hard, wala kang maririnig dyan. Samantalang ako, teary-eyed na kasi naiiyak ako kapag nababasa ako. (I don't deserve this! Working hard all day, tapos mababasa lang ng ulan. ***Sobs inside.***) Hehe. She's the least that could make reklamo! Promise!

When it comes to work, she was very much persistent. Very masipag talaga yan. She would come around the earliest. That is, before dumating si Lhed. Pero nonetheless, her punctuality can never be put to question.She has amazingly created wonderful relationships with her colleagues because of her being simple in actions. She would easily relate to each and everyone of us. Walang hassle kumbaga.

ON LIFE and LOVE

I remember how Triccie's IP message went a couple of years back she got me going bananas. And I had to take a second look in disbelief. How can a tiny body like hers be on her 4th month? But I was absolutely happy for her amidst it all. I guess everyone felt the same for her because Tyrone came along.

And it was extra cute that her wedding coincided with her giving birth. So imagine all the labor pains there were, while stating her vows. Unbelievably uncanny, plus her having gone through normal delivery. Now that's a plus! Now, bakit ako, CS? 

With Tyrone now in the picture, Triccie went a notch persevering and dedicated to work. She was learning a lot when she opened her doors to new opportunities along the way. She has never lost her sun-shiny attitude towards work and life. Most importantly now that she has sailed on to her family life.

And when Zachary came along, she was one of the firsts to know. I owe her that because she has been there all the way. Kapag nga magkausap sila ni Jef sa phone parang matagal na silang magkabarkada e. Ganun siya kabilis makibagay.


FRIENDS FOREVER

Like kindergarten classmates moving on to another school for grade school, we are all a bit sad about Triccie leaving. It's like we won't ever be complete anymore for a Chinese garter match.

Group pic!

Work has never been this fun with people whom you enjoy their company. It's like work and play synchronized. That's how it is for us in the team. We are supportive of each and everyone's decision and we work hard towards a common goal whatever the sh*t it may take.

It's not like naman that we're not going to see each other anymore. That's kind of OA. Hehe. I am thinking that wherever our wits and charms take us, there's always this common ground na we can always meet up.
Lalo na that the bond we have created is kind of stern, nobody can ever blow it up magka-goiter man siya! Hahaha.

Triccie, I know, it will be a little hard adjusting, but you can definitely make it good there! Alalahanin mo, apo ka ni RLK. Matalino ka at magaling. At maganda! Hahaha! Keep in touch!

Go for the win!

***Ooops, don't you fret! A whole post will be dedicated for the pictures we took last week! :)

School is Cool? Yes!

Now how nerd did that sound? Geeky maybe? Nah. 

I remember in my younger days how ecstatic I went for the first days of school. Could be because for my new pair of shoes or bag or probably the notebooks that I couldn't stop scheming the night before. Yep, with nothing on it, but I couldn't help but scan! Plus! The pencil cases with much too many compartments.Yung mga mechanical pencils na iba-iba ang kulay, it were the coolest back in the days. Ballpens with nakakahilo sa bangong scents were such a fad ha.Well, like the child in me, it was my sort of driving force to endure school.

Schooling did not come easy. I remember crying inside my English class in nursery. I was sorely sobbing, Papa had to peep through the windows just so that I would stop. Umabot pa sa point that teacher had no choice but to let me out and sit beside Papa. Separation anxiety, yes. Couldn't remember though what made me stick to my seat, that is to count out any scolding scenario.

Image grabbed from the web.

The tables have turned came the following years when it was a lot of fun coming to school. I was all giddy waiting up for Mang Jo to bust on his busina, 6:15 trip! I remember Michael, being my constant seat mate in grade school kapag uwian na! Haha. Ang init nun a. In fairness, 2:30pm yata ang dismissal namin nun. I was friends with a lot of people. Well, siguro nga ganun talaga when you're young. You tend not to entertain conflicts in any form. Tamang saya lang!

Could be the friends I have met along the way din that's why I love being in school. Those with whom I am still friends with until today. Lalo na those from elementary days. Well, three of them being Zachary's god parents might tell something naman a! Di ba, Luigi, Janina and Arjae?

My alma matter could have possibly created an atmosphere which is very much close to home I found myself at ease. I can fondly recall my first teacher, Ms. Agtay, leading us in our morning exercises back in the days. She would beat the drum up and we would willfully follow with head rotation. I recall Let's Get Physical being played on the latter part in replacement of the drum beat. So we were probably playing Olivia Newton John in our youngster days? Very telling of how we are now. Haha! Nonetheless, every hour spent in school, be it for lecture or recess, it has always been fun because of the people I was with.

It was I guess a plus factor me being exposed to a lot of extra curricular activities. It paved the way for me to develop confidence and esteem. Yung mga field demonstration every Foundation Week, super saya because instead of taking up Science, we were dancing our way downstairs. Hahaha! Sports actually did wonders of my being a team player. It was a powerful tool to accept defeat too. I remember psyching myself up every volleyball match there was just to chalk up a win. That kind of pressure was healthy, competitively healthy! And yes, I had my stint of being cheerleader, that historic sophomore year! Hahaha! Dun din nagsimula ang dynasty namin sa volleyball. We're like the Lakers for a time. We were unbeatable!

The leadership that I have come to acquire along the way was probably based on the exposure I had on the activities I ought to have interest or happen to excel on. Learning is definitely not only based on books but experience itself. Who wouldn't remember having class elections first day of school? I remember being class president in first grade and by senior year I was secretary. Hello chalk dusts! Hahaha!

It is in school also that I developed relationships of all sorts.Friendships, love and hate and everything else in between. It is where I happened to come across people with whom I share common interests with. And syempre, there were those whom I did not find common grounds with at all. Yes, I had that share of stories too. And it took its toll, well, maybe on the latter part of schooling. When I was amidst personality development. And that's not suppose to justify my actions. Naks. Disclaimer lang ang dating.

As I was growing up and older, it was inevitable to be fixated with the institution where I was a part of at least the momentous 12 years of my life.It was like second home to me. That I was totally homesick in the earlier stage of college life.

Kahit nga ngayon I miss schooling. Like gusto ko talaga mag-aral ulit. Hay, Lord, slip some time for me to get back to school! Hahaha! Kaya nga with all the hype there is because of class commencement, I was awkwardly feeling giddy myself. Parang estudyante lang. I guess it's pretty important to keep the excitement with you. Yung excitement for new stuff, new beginnings at new challenges.

After all, life's a school and learning is a never-ending process.

FYI, Jef.

Beb, read on. :)

YES to that!

So, that has become my mantra for the past couple of weeks. Ugh. I feel totally drained. Emotionally and physically drained. Maybe it really takes a lot of me when I worry too much when there's really supposed to be worried about. Ugh. Yes, that's for the second time. And a lot more of that as this entry comes to a wrap.

The hunt is quite taking its toll on me. It's weird because every time I am so near it, I feel some throbbing somethings. Ugh. Maybe the possibility of separation anxiety. I could not believe it's sinking in this early. Actually ang OA a, for me to feel this way e wala pa nga.

Why does it happen that at some point, I want to back up. Could be that I am half-hearted of the hunt. Uhm, I'd like to think it's normal lang naman to be feeling this way. It's some kind of uncanny feeling. Excited but of course malungkot din because you know, the people I will be leaving behind. Huh. Syempre, the relationships I have already built, it kinda stuck to me na. Yep, could be separation anxiety.

I am in constant prayers, still thinking things over. Weighing the odds and benefits of this possible undertaking.Man, this is hard a. Not that I thought it was easier. But I never thought of it being this excruciating!

I would still like to believe that the best is yet to come.

***fingers crossed.***

My thing for Damon.

So what does this say about me when my heart goes out to the underdog? I was routing for Jacob too. And now, heart melting for Damon Salvatore. Darn you Elena, he found you FIRST before Stefan did.

Zachary's Weekend Photo Op

Zachary's 'Malunggay' shot.

Reggae-ish on his 8th month.

Why sooo cute?

Me and my sun beam Zachary.

One for the Moms

If my mom reads that I'm grammatically incorrect, I'll have hell to pay. - Larisa Olynik

I was sheepishly smiling when I read this. So fits.

Mama and I, we were never close. Like close, close. Maybe because we're so much a like, we kept out staging each other. But that does not make me love her less.

I can still vividly picture my nursery afternoons from school. After merienda, she would prop me up for our tutorial sessions, grueling tutorial sessions at that! Haha! We would do our flash cards drill until I get everything right. Well, must be the reason I bagged Best in Math. :) A spelling drill that would often bring me to tears because I kept on missing out on the word handkerchief. Sniff, sniff. Hahaha. But, but, thank you Papa, you named me Kate, short cute name, wasn't so hard for me to write back to back on my pad paper jotting my name on it.

She was like that. She wanted everything prim and proper, neat and clean. She was that type. Very, very, OC particular.

Mama when she small. :)

I remember, she would make room for advance reading sessions when I was in grade school. She would make me read the next chapter of our current lessons. And make me practice answer the comprehension check in our reading subject. She wanted me to read aloud with proper diction. She would make me repeat when the intonation of my reading seemed off the hook. On weekends, she would hand me Reader's Digest for me to read. The next thing I knew, they kept away all the other books because of my optic migraine. Hmp.

She would cut my nails and clean my ears every other day. She would put me in my uniform and comb my hair. Some other time she would jazz me up with a perky head band. Get me to my newly polished doll shoes and ready for school equipped. She would send me pancakes and milk for baon. Because of her I loved school and learning itself.

And little did I know, everything she was trying to teach me was starting to rub in. And I was like thinking a stream like she does. Well, maybe, some sort of ways. Growing up I would watch her go in her uniform with her shoulder bag and hit the road to Makati. Maybe that's why I have always pictured myself in the corporate world, her influence in me was quite apparent.

I'd like to believe I can sing some notes because of her genes. Papa, don't get me wrong, you can sing too. She would just give me a hard stare every time I tell her I'd be singing in a school program, or bagging a gold medal in a Kundiman contest back in junior year. It's like impliedly telling me, I know you can nail it so what's the fuss? Yes, that's how she is, never malambing but it's all good.

I remember in my rebelde days in freshman, she and Papa could've been really desperate she sent me on a youth camp one summer weekend. Like there's no other way but divine intervention, she placed high hopes in me that I'd be participative. Well, guess what, I owe it to both of them that they sent me there. It was sort of like a jamming with Jesus with new-found friends.

She would negate about me taking journalism or mass communication in college that's why I ended up an accountant. Gaah. Not that I am complaining. But sort of. Should be destiny. In the same college, I met my now husband Jef. Na on the first time I invited him over to be introduced to the family, I had to text her, Be nice. Like I really know she could seem mataray. But it went well.

That night when Jef and I broke the news about Zachary, and our future plans, she was her stern self but I knew she knew exactly how I was feeling. She was in the same shoes before. She would pick on me now whenever she finds fault in how I take care of Zachary. She's painfully particular my ears were hurting at times. But the competitive person that I am, I would always take everything as a challenge, swear to do better next time. Well, that's how she's to me: a hard-core motivator. I am just so thankful she loves Zachary so much, he does love Mama too. 

Mama and I, we're both tear jerks. We would cry over palabas sa tv when Sai, Kevin and Papa felt numb about it. But we're the type who never went particular about our emotions, not vocal unless puno na ang salop. Haha! But that's the way we are e. And it's all good.

I wouldn't know if you'd come across this entry Ma, but for God's sake, I was cautious with my grammar ha! Hahaha!

To all the moms, Happy Mother's Day. To my uncharacteristically wonderful Mama, you ought to know that I love you big time!

When the gummy bears turn evil

via The Fancy

Just how cuddly they all seem to appear. Everyone and everything has got to have their other side, like inevitably. By other side I mean, the bad side.

I was quite feeling jumpy about yesterday's festivities. Kevin's 17th birthday and our 1st year wedding anniversary. I was all positive vibes, feeling so much blessed. It has always been uplifting for me every time I hear mass. I brought Zachary with me since Jef was out for work. Just like how Fr. Peter's homily went, with prayers come grace. And I heard myself murmur a heartfelt prayer for our family, our marriage and everyday providence, banged by a huge amen to close it. I saw Zachary throw me an inquisitive glance.

Dinner got us full. The Savory chicken really closed the deal. Very tasty! Should be a staple for family dinner na! Zachary could only munch on a bit of bacon, ham and cheese pizza, more of the crust though. But nonetheless I saw him munching with joy like it's the most delicious treat in the whole, wide world. And, and, how can I forget. Double dutch ice cream was a welcome addition! My baby boy's taste buds were introduced to the dessert's tingly feel.

I see Zachary's eyes going googly. I had to put him to sleep. And there he was, rolling over every pillow there was to find his most comfortable position , holding his milk bottle as if somebody's going to grab it away from him.

That was the time I hit the net. And barely an hour, sleep was trying to knock me down. It's just that I felt so full, I thought I couldn't sleep just yet. A glass of soda did not help either. Made me feel even more jumpy. But I had to force it down. I had to hibernate. It was eleven. And Zachary could be awake anytime between 2 or 3 in the wee morning, I should have the energy to attend to him. I thought to myself.

Coming to office today, I ought to be feeling good. I was actually. I walked Zachary early morning, bonded with my son in breakfast. I thought everything was nice.

I was feeling gazillion of good vibes until an unnecessary comment.

Well, yes, so what?

Doesn't mean that if I opt to share you things about personal matters you can bust me with your lame ideas. Doesn't have to mean that if I was all out venting the other time I cannot go tamely-sweety now. Like excuse me! Maybe you have yet to know me, like really KNOW me.

I could tear someone down with the crisps of my words, but I can be hushed down if I get what I really want. Oh yes, like a brat. So what?

Indeed, gummy bears can turn to evil. Like how you seem to me, surprisingly.          

366 days and counting.

Yes, right about this time last year, I became Mrs. Jeffrey Adap.

I was so preoccupied before and after the wedding. It was sure quite a rush going through every little detail of our sun-shiny, vibrant special day. Looking at each photo brought me goosebumps. How time really flies.Every not-so-good moments suddenly went flying out the window.

You got to believe that I was still back at the bake shop picking up our wedding cake! Yes, ako ang kumuha! Hahaha! But I was really happy seeing things falling to their places as they should, as I wanted when I got back. Then suddenly I was giddy. I remember posting a status over Facebook which went like: Crunch time. Well, it really was crunch time!

 

Sila ang nauna make-up-an. At ang bride talaga ang nahuli! They are my favorite girls: My sister Sai and cousin Aira. It's nice to have them as part of the entourage. At hindi naman di ako makapapayag na hindi sila kasama!

Yes, that's me, a year back. I got to say, the flowers were photogenic. Kasi in real life, they did not look vibrant as it did in this picture. Thank you to our wonderful make up artist, THE TA ROY! I owe you this pink lipstick!

This is a picture with my inaanak Luke. Too bad you did not bring your barong with you. You could've walked down the isle with ninang! You're too cute for words.

I looove this shot. My super kulit brother Kevin having the laugh of his laugh here with Mama. Na take note, bigat na bigat sa false lashes niya!

Eto na ang tandem namin ni Kevin that will beat all other tandems there is! We are the coolest of siblings! We both got brains & swag! Hahaha. Yabang mode lang. Turo ni Kevin.

Us girls. Hay, all yellow like I love it. Paborito ko talaga ang pic na to. I think everything matched here. Even the sofa! 

   

Yes, I was so happy to have Mama beside me that day. Aba, kahit lagi kami kontrapelo nyan, siguro nga all she ever wanted is the best for me. Like how I am kay Zachary now. Thanks Ma. Now I know. Hehehe. 

Yey, I remember sabi ni Papa na ang ganda ko daw when he saw me on my wedding gown. Buti na lang hindi ako naiyak, hay naku. Being innately iyakin at hormone-driven din. Haaay! Looking at it, ang saya lang. Ayy, Ma, I have to commend you. Nag-heels ka, at plunging ang likod ng damit mo! Namen!

Sa bridal car with my maid of honor Sai. Shaking off all the jitters as fast as I could since super lapit lang naman ng church sa bahay!

So this extra candid moment was brought about by, I don't even remember. Hehehe! But the good thing is we were laughing together. Nice lang.

The epic You may kiss the bride moment. Aww. 

Thank you Fr. Max for being there all the way from Greenhills. And for always making yourself available whenever I need some realistic payo! 

And here we are, Mr & Mrs. Jeffrey Adap. Indeed, we are just starting out. All the troubles we've been into in our first year could be just initiation towards family life. But as long us both Jef and I fight for our relationship and this family, we'd probably go swiftly to our fiftieth year. Or even longer for that matter. 

Happy 1st year anniversary Beb!

I love you so much. 

Yes, I want to be one.

Of the many other things I wanted to become, the thought of being a ninja never fails to tickle my senses. Like seriously.

I am no martial artist. I waive off anything that has to do with that. I cannot be in a combat, so as my presence of mind. I rattle. Stutter badly. I don't like anything physical. Or anything that would probably shove me off.

Despite that, I'd like to think I have Ninjutsu, with emphasis on survival skills.

My world's been quite a buzz since last year and there were times I just wanted to beg the universe to pause for a while just so I can keep up. Marital woes, my son's acquired asthma, my own share of asthma, being burn out at work, in-laws, yes, you heard me, and some other crap I happen to bump into along the way. Them times I just want to turn into my own ninja and spell out some shadow bind jutsu.

Giving birth was probably the most amazing thing that ever happened to me. Being a mom made me realize a lot of things. First, I can take a cut, then the stitches and finally the aftermath of it all, motherhood in its most deceiving sense. I'd like to think I am doing fairly well in this new role. I know I have lapses and miscues, but at the end of the day, all I ever really wanted is for Zachary's best interest. Be that I sounded borderline blunt and acted nerve-wrackingly bratty. Like a ninja protecting territory, all geared up with her kunai and shuriken, I can come against life's combat poker-faced. 

I may lack physical power like that of a ninja, but I'd like to think I bear their intellect. Like a master tactician, their every move is well-thought of, going through it's pro's and con's before engaging to action. And like how I overly analyze things, yes I know that doesn't sound good all the time, it should always be nice to weigh things before acting into them, cautiously effective in all sense.

And like how superpowers were seemingly associated with ninjas, I wish to be there every time for my loved ones. I'd like to be the most able kunoichi there is to battle things out for them or maybe just to plainly ensure them being sound all the days of their lives.

I could be some cranked up ninja like Naruto, but like him, I will always have a heart willing to square it all out when everything else fails.