The Shades Aftermath

So I was right. It was Shimoli singing in my head.

That Damned song, yesss, that!

I was all Fifty Shades of Grey the past, what, 34 hours or so? Like I am all consumed, not in the books context, with all defense If I may say, but man, how could it be possible that such delicate topic be discussed in detail in such a manner that EL James did?

I was green with envy. I wish I could write my own book. And be frigging relevant!

My thoughts were scribbled messed up, that kind of way, I was aching so bad for this entry. Yesss, that bad.

It must have done me bad sleeping my way to the office. That I ought to do a couple of years back when I was all-too-early bird. I thought I was sleep walking when I was in the train. I had to slap myself back together walking Annapolis and finally clocking in for today's work.

It's a Wednesday and I chose not to be tuning in to The Riot. Well, that must be something. I am still thrilled to get my eyes on Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele's cranked up story. I thought I was so in it I tried sending Jef an email hoping he would reply his wits out and mesmerize me for the hundredth time.

Nonetheless maybe, I was just trying to find a more artistic, yes, as I would like to put it, excuse to get my thoughts across him and how I miss him so bad. 

Jef and I. We've been through a lot. And when I say a lot, I meant A LOT. And certainly going through a lot this time. Sometimes it's just painfully ugly it brings me to tears. But that doesn't stop me though, nor the feelings I harbor for him and my high hopes of the family we ought to be building this time.

I wouldn't know if he would ever come across this entry. Given he doesn't like reading and claims that he hardly understands what I am trying to say, says I am too cryptic about things. Well, the beauty of metaphors and figurative language, all working my way.

Basically it all boils down to I love him.

And I was shivering having just typed that, or the thought of it was quite tingling to my senses.

Because I really do.

And like there's terribly nobody else I would want to be with. I know I have been stubbornly difficult and it has probably given him reasons to just give up on me, but of course it would shatter me to pieces just the mere thought of him giving up on me, like I am trying to behave the hell out of me just to make us work. Darn have I wanted him so, so, bad!

And I couldn't be missing out because of some fat-ass cynic. Pardon the words.

Sometimes I like my wit. I mean all the time. I undeniably catch my prey's yet to be introduced senses.

Given the circumstances, I would exhaust all my power to tire them out until they reconcile with their senses that what Jef and I have, it's unbreakable, certainly would hold down all the meanness they have overly indulged on me. Maybe I annoy them that much. Well that's their problem not mine. 

I could be really feisty, I'd like to think feisty-passionate, and I am all for the persons that I love. Like how I would like to put it, I can be your dearest friend or your greatest enemy. No neutral shade. No grays. Black or white, that's me.

And I am definitely not playing coy when I am not in my element. Jeez, ninjas tire out too. All for the missions and the battles I ought to be game on, this one with Jef I will be laying all my cards down, going for the win.

Doesn't matter if he isn't a man of hearts and flowers.

I love him, every teensy-weensy bit of him.

Now, that has to be so Fifty Shades of Grey.