Hello, RLK!

Of course, it was so nice seeing RLK again. It's been what, six months in the running since he left. And darn I miss his witty sarcasm!

Hindi naman masyado obvious sa picture na to that I was happy! Hehe. :)

As I would like to put it, I'd prefer much to be challenged by this man's intellect than be bored to death out of somebody's nonchalance. Sharp, eh?

I hope to be seeing more of you. And with his arrival, and endless possibilities there lies, I think I'm standing my ground. I got to learn a lot from him. And will probably never tire out learning.

You know, I'm the type who prefers iron-fisted superiors. Pushes me to my limit and unleashes the best in me!

I missed you RLK! See you around! :)

The Shades Aftermath

So I was right. It was Shimoli singing in my head.

That Damned song, yesss, that!

I was all Fifty Shades of Grey the past, what, 34 hours or so? Like I am all consumed, not in the books context, with all defense If I may say, but man, how could it be possible that such delicate topic be discussed in detail in such a manner that EL James did?

I was green with envy. I wish I could write my own book. And be frigging relevant!

My thoughts were scribbled messed up, that kind of way, I was aching so bad for this entry. Yesss, that bad.

It must have done me bad sleeping my way to the office. That I ought to do a couple of years back when I was all-too-early bird. I thought I was sleep walking when I was in the train. I had to slap myself back together walking Annapolis and finally clocking in for today's work.

It's a Wednesday and I chose not to be tuning in to The Riot. Well, that must be something. I am still thrilled to get my eyes on Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele's cranked up story. I thought I was so in it I tried sending Jef an email hoping he would reply his wits out and mesmerize me for the hundredth time.

Nonetheless maybe, I was just trying to find a more artistic, yes, as I would like to put it, excuse to get my thoughts across him and how I miss him so bad. 

Jef and I. We've been through a lot. And when I say a lot, I meant A LOT. And certainly going through a lot this time. Sometimes it's just painfully ugly it brings me to tears. But that doesn't stop me though, nor the feelings I harbor for him and my high hopes of the family we ought to be building this time.

I wouldn't know if he would ever come across this entry. Given he doesn't like reading and claims that he hardly understands what I am trying to say, says I am too cryptic about things. Well, the beauty of metaphors and figurative language, all working my way.

Basically it all boils down to I love him.

And I was shivering having just typed that, or the thought of it was quite tingling to my senses.

Because I really do.

And like there's terribly nobody else I would want to be with. I know I have been stubbornly difficult and it has probably given him reasons to just give up on me, but of course it would shatter me to pieces just the mere thought of him giving up on me, like I am trying to behave the hell out of me just to make us work. Darn have I wanted him so, so, bad!

And I couldn't be missing out because of some fat-ass cynic. Pardon the words.

Sometimes I like my wit. I mean all the time. I undeniably catch my prey's yet to be introduced senses.

Given the circumstances, I would exhaust all my power to tire them out until they reconcile with their senses that what Jef and I have, it's unbreakable, certainly would hold down all the meanness they have overly indulged on me. Maybe I annoy them that much. Well that's their problem not mine. 

I could be really feisty, I'd like to think feisty-passionate, and I am all for the persons that I love. Like how I would like to put it, I can be your dearest friend or your greatest enemy. No neutral shade. No grays. Black or white, that's me.

And I am definitely not playing coy when I am not in my element. Jeez, ninjas tire out too. All for the missions and the battles I ought to be game on, this one with Jef I will be laying all my cards down, going for the win.

Doesn't matter if he isn't a man of hearts and flowers.

I love him, every teensy-weensy bit of him.

Now, that has to be so Fifty Shades of Grey.

Wanted: Emergency Chocolate

So I'm thinking where to get myself this Emergency Chocolate. Or maybe I should just tap myself to the reality that this is just an aftermath of most recent cravings? I couldn't remember the last time I grabbed a bite. Should be a while.

Today should jump start the weekend ahead. Pero I am feeling kind of tired to do a thing. Tomorrow's laundry day and here's hoping the sun would be shining brightly to my favor.

I am quite exhausted with work stuff. Or maybe all the thinking there was the past few days. Months even. And it hasn't been pretty, mind you. My skin asthma's been taking it's toll at some point I thought I couldn't take it anymore. Should hit the doctor for check up. Maybe an assessment about this stuff. See, that's kind of urgent. All that was running through my head is that this is primarily about the emotional stresses I have been into. Still into. Some kind of a limbo, some anxiety in between. Something I wouldn't entertain but now, uhm, sort of entertaining. Should be a whole lot of things running in my head and a thousand more emotions I couldn't hold up all at the same time.

Maybe I'd be better off asleep.

I am reading on Eat, Pray, Love for the second time now. Funny how unfamiliar it seemed to me. Although the emotions I was into the first time I read it was spelling familiarity now. Couldn't be a good sign.

I was heaping with heavy sighs, yes. Maybe a lot coming from disappointments. About myself, my career. Family life. And the mere fact I am channeling these bad vibes is not a good idea to toss around with. And so I was thinking, what was this pit hole that I allowed myself to slip in. Was kinda dark and ugly. Something I really don't like. Eeeky at some point. You could puke.

I should be on my toes now, I mean try to bounce back. I couldn't be in this hole for so long, I could miss out on the good things GOD will have to provide me.

Sure there's truth when Deepak Chopra said "All great changes are preceded by chaos." Maybe that's why everything's been a mess. A whole lot of mess. Like my thoughts are really a mess. But maybe it's about time to gather myself together and probably get back to my old self. Really uncanny, thinking I go about the every days of my life lately with scattered thoughts and wailing composure. Not a good sight, yes?

Maybe it's about time to get back to my NINJA MODE. Yesss, I have that in my arsenal. Like for real.

And I have this emergency chocolate to fuel me up.

Because when you're feeling this down, there's absolutely no way but up.

I have the coolest Pops!

Yes, you heard me right. And I could not be bragging any less.

Papa and I were both born in August. Maybe that's why I find it easiest to relate with him. Being the first born, I'd like to believe I was lucky having been given first hand attention. Well, they say the perks are always fun, yes? And my childhood was quite memorable. Being given all the best there is although Sai and I were born only a year apart.

I fondly remember his proud face when I bagged the Best in Math award in kindergarten, he was spilling the good news like wild fire. And out of a small girl's building ego, it was a bombastic way to fuel things out.

My love for sport was heavily influenced by his being a sportsman. Just a couple of weeks ago, imagine Papa, at 51, running the floor of the Mecca of SCH Basketball, Phase 5 court. It was quite a sight to see looking back to his younger days as a very effective cager.

He would bring us to his games to nearby subdivisions. And we would gladly cheer for him and the whole team. He was into tennis too. And mind you, he plays well too. Maybe that's why it was a lot of disappointment when Kevin declined to continue his tennis training, for free.

He plays exemplary billiards too. Hahaha. The adjectives I'm using, yesss, to the superlative degree of all superlative degrees! I would recall looking at his pictures playing billiards in his rugged maong ang patented sando, 80's style yow! Hahaha! Nonetheless, he is really bigger than his body. Bigger than his thin, unassuming body.

Growing up, we used to argue a lot. Well, because of the choice of friends I had by then maybe. He's just being protective from all the hazards of teenage life that were threatening my way. Well, gladly, he was kind of triumphant having seen me graduate from high school with, uhm, kind of borderline petiks and achiever kind of range. Hahaha! Not bad, Pa!

He would check out my volleyball games in highschool but later at home would always go nostalgic like.. Pinabayaan niyo kasi ang mga buhok niyo. Nung bata kayo ke gaganda niyan. Palagi ko sinusuklay. Ngayon, 'ta nyo.. Yan ang masasabi niya sa dry hair namin dulot ng volleyball practices. He was there on the gallery when I was cheerleader in second year. And some other activities he would make himself available.

And I just really have to say, how I appreciate his efforts in sending me to collage. I recall how happy he was munching on the idea the I was actually going to college to take Accountancy. I can tell, he was proud of me, even that early in this stage.

He wasn't playing KJ also when I had introduced Jef, February of 2006. He was just in constant reminder of the limitations we had to set, so as the priorities. That fateful day of November 11, 2007, I was marching on this mini theater in Insular Building in Alabang, he couldn't miss out telling me that I looked just fine in my pink satin graduation dress.He was also supportive in my first job stint at Air 21.

He was modestly remiding about my then active weekend drinking sprees but was understanding enough to see that I was having a bad headache the morning after. Terrible hang over that was. He was that type, letting you experience what's there to experience. But of course, always maagap to draw the line on what's tolerable or not. Cool? Yes!

He was accommodating to my friends too. Be it the girls from high school, them guys from high school too, from the youth org sa Church. We was always ready to let fly a good old joke to keep everyone at bay. 

To date, he still drives me to the bus station for work. Niloloko na nga siya ni Mommy Aids one time, Ano, hatid pa din? Bata?

And when Jef and I had to reveal our plans of getting married, it landed to him like, what? Nabingi ata. But he was a busy hand on the wedding day planning for the biggest day of my life. Hmm, I can tell, he was a little sad for a while but he got over it, lalo na when Zachary came along. Silang dalawa are like partners in crime. They would always have new antiques to brag about. Like the fact that there's nobody else I would like to take care of my son with exception to me & Jef, he would be one of the very few.

So just in time for Father's Day, thank you Papa for being the coolest papa there is! Like wala talagang papantay sa'yo! Ikaw na talaga!

Stay jeproks and watch what you eat! It's not like you're 25! But your swag feels like it!

I LOVE YOU PAPA! :)
   

In This House.

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